Quarter-Life Crisis

I first heard the term Quarter Life Crisis from Mr. John Mayer himself in the song Why Georgia:


“It might be a quarter life crisis or just the stirring in my soul. Either way, I wonder sometimes about the outcome of a still verdictless life. Am I living it right?”

A lot of people go through a transitional phase around 25 years of age. It's a time to start thinking about settling down. Still not too old for the single life, but not getting any younger. It seems that there are limitless options to choose from. Deciding what job to take, what city to live in, when to get married, when to have kids, and who to be. Becoming a True Adult. Not just being old enough to make decisions for yourself, but being mature enough to make the right decisions for others. Growing up, I always thought that I would have a similar experience. I never imagined that things would turn out so different by 25.

My struggle seems to be in complete contrast to most people my age. We each have questions where the other has already had answers. I got married 5 years ago, I already have 2 kids, and I just built my first house. I've had to be a True Adult for a long time now. I also never finished college, we live pay check to pay check, and my job is far from reliable because of the economy. My questions are "Should I go back and finish college? Should I get a different job/jobs that pays less, but is at least steady? Should I dump my new house and go back to renting? Can I change my schedule around to accomplish any change at all?". These and many more are in constant rotation for me. It seems easy to say "Duh, find a steady enough job to get the bills paid and then finish college with night classes." The problem is responsibilities. Not that they're problems exactly. I love taking my boy to and from kindergarten. I love playing with my 2 year old until the afternoon comes. It's fun to have all of the kids play in the background while my brother and I work at his house. It's just becoming less and less practical. My wife works full time during the day. She could stay home during the day and watch the kids. That would allow me to go and get a stable job and then do college at night, but the house payment is too high. My wife could make up the difference by getting a night job, but then there's no college time for me. Someone has to watch the kids. I could go back to renting a house, but prices have gone up considerably since we moved. It would still be a struggle financially. Plus, I don't know if we're ready to lose the investment of the house. We could delay college for now and both work, but then we'd never see each other. Could our marriage last through all of the hardships? Even if I went back to school we'd still have those problems. I could just live off of student loans until I'm done, but I'm not sure that I want $20,000+ to pay back later. I could get a day care to watch the kids, but they are too expensive to be practical. On top of that, I don't want to miss out on our kids growing up. Once both of the kids are in school full time our schedules would open up some, but we're also thinking about having another baby. So instead of waiting 3 years we would have to wait 6 or 7. How could we afford to have another child anyway? There is just so much to consider. It drives me crazy.

At 25 years old things are supposed to be winding down. Settling into a comfortable state of being. As you can see, my life is far from comfortable. Each different potential path has even more discomfort in store for me. I suppose that it's true for everybody. Nobody has a perfect, easy life. Money would solve a lot of problems, but not all of them. In fact, it would probably lead to just having different ones.

The plan for now is to just wait, if waiting is a plan, and see what other options the future will bring. None of the current choices feel quite right, and my feelings have never lead me wrong before. Of course, I didn't get into this predicament by listening to Ann Landers.